Time, money, culture, language, leaving people behind, traveling altogether, being by myself…the list could go on forever really. Those were all the things that crossed through my mind when I decided to take the placement in South Korea. The most important bit though…how would I be able to survive the food and using the chopsticks??

Funnily enough, panicking came after the preparation. It’s always been like that though, for example, when I have an exam, I prepare and then I panic. No, really, I’m lying. I panic all the time. Panicking is me and I am panicking (see what I did there?). Default settings. Crap ones, but they’ve been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

This situation was not making it better. It made it worse. After I prepared though. I did my research, and that was probably the best thing I could’ve done. I tried to find as much as possible about the place I would be going. And it is a bit more difficult to find things about South Korea. There has been a migration phenomenon in the last few years where many people went there, that is true. However, all the information I could find was conveyed only by people who are working there, not students on placement, or students in general. I found out a lot about the culture and what I could expect from Korea from youtubers/bloggers such as Simon and Martina and ChoNunMigookSaram. I got a general idea of what I could be experiencing there. People are different, and circumstances are not the same. I knew these will not help me as much. I knew no other way about preparing for it though.

Now that was the moment I started panicking. And if you’re like me, and you don’t start packing until the last minute and not surprisingly you find things you forgot to take with you, you might find yourself in a pickle. Panicking here is not an option. I had to swallow it all and start taking my mother’s advice (after a few years of her nagging me, and me not listening to her thinking I knew better, I finally listened) and started packing earlier. 2 days before, not much but it’s still better, and I am still learning! I tried looking for information about the weather and thought what I might be doing there, what I needed from home that I could not find there (that is another post in itself to be honest, there are many things to comment about on that), what I could buy there, what I could leave there when I would be leaving.

That was another problem. Even though my placement would be for a year, 8 months to be more specific, I would be splitting it in two. Half and half, and I would have to leave my first semester accommodation, return home, and go through the stress of finding accommodation and sorting out packing once more two months later. Now let’s be honest, who wouldn’t panic in this situation? So many things to think about, so many things to do. I had to do it not once, but twice. I still have to do it, as my year there is not over. I could’ve stayed there for the entire year, but I felt the need to go home. To something that is familiar to me, and Christmas was coming. Call me a familist, but I think Christmas should be spent with the people you love. In my case I’m talking about family.

Thus I started packing and panicking at the same time. Did not help, found that out later. I packed what I thought I needed, and I am saying this because I found out once I got there, I haven’t packed half of the things I needed. I had the essentials and I was spot on with the things I thought I needed there and wouldn’t be able to find, thankfully. The rest I bought there, not cost effective, but I had to. What is done is done. Next time I know not to do it again.

I had finished packing (or so I thought), now I had to finish panicking. Foolish to hope that I could overcame it. I did, in a way. On the surface I was determined not to show it. I had family that kept saying how brave I am do be doing something like this. That made me think about the fact that I was the only person in my family (close family I mean) to have left and move away to another country. Not once but twice. Not only the country but also the continent. And while a year is not enough to be considered moving, it is a significant amount of time I would be going; so for my sake I shall call it moving.

Hearing people say how brave I am, made me want to look braver on the outside, I paraded like a peacock whilst on the inside I was actually as close to a deer caught in the headlights as I could be. Used all the tricks I could, counting sheep (that actually helps to calm you down more than it does falling asleep), giving myself pep talks. At some point I did start to believe myself and everybody else. I was brave…in a way. Thing is, there is a thin line between brave and stupid. Don’t know which side I am on but I’m guessing a bit of both. Now, I realise that this stupidity has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

That was the hardest thing I had to do. For them I wasn’t only going for four months, for them I was going forever it seemed. I think, family, loved ones, friends, are the hardest things to leave behind. No matter how many amazing new friends you’d be making on the way, the ones that you already have and the family that will always be there for you will make you re-think your decision. However, I knew I wasn’t leaving them forever, and they knew I was doing this for myself. That this will help me grow and in the long run it was beneficial. It still did not make the decision easier. And saying goodbye was harder. I had to suck it in. And my family has been amazing, they encouraged me, and no matter how hard it was for them to see me leave, they told me goodbye with a smile on their faces and supported me all the way in my decision. The smile on their faces made the goodbye a lot better. I would’ve started crying (which I did, on the plane with my face hidden behind the facemask I had on-sad or not sad we shouldn’t forget to moisturize while on a plane) if they had not smiled.

I was able to communicate with them through WhatsApp and Skype, the time zones made it a bit harder but they understood.

As I said before, I was the only one in my family to have left, and that also made me realise as I was reading Gloria Steinem’s book ‘My Life on the Road’ where she describes the travel bug as being part of her, being passed through her genes by her father, I had nothing of that. So where did my love for traveling come from?

The amazing new friends I made while there helped immensely, they became my family away from home. You don’t realise how big the world is and how amazing people can be until you start exploring outside of your comfort zone. Then you’ll have no other choice but to start interacting with others and make friends. And what amazing friends you can make.

…I thought I was ready enough for South Korea. But you learn from mistakes. It did not matter I would be facing one of the worst winters there and not have my winter jacket because I was too stupid and I forgot it at home. Or that I would need less shirts without a sleeve and more shorts rather than the endless amount of sleeveless shirts and the two pair of shorts I had. Or that I would need a functional camera to capture all the amazing things I have experienced- the phone just wasn’t able to keep up with the amounts of fun I had (I still regret that one). I can’t say I will not be making any mistakes from now on, it is impossible not to (the endless amount of times I forgot my toothbrush when I went on vacations taught me that) but I know I shall be better prepared for my next semester there. Already packed my toothbrush-and that’s pretty much it! I still have two weeks left…